When was the last time you went to a surprise party, and you left very surprised?
I was standing there totally in the dark with a group of about 25 people. We were as quiet as we could be, but there was some snickering going on as we patiently waited for the soon to be surprised guest of honor. I had been in this same position a number of times and I guess the longer I waited the more that it occurred to me. wait… this could all be a funny ruse. As we were there in the dark stairwell was it just possible that there was going to be a bigger surprise to actually be sprung on us. Were we in fact part of a very clever plan by someone to give us the memory of a lifetime?
And so this was the beginning of a birthday party that I would still consider as one of my most unique accomplishments. I had 6 months to plan it and organize my cast of characters. I was going to be turning 30 soon and with the help of 7 people, I had the confidence to pull off something I had never heard of before. And yes by now I had evolved into the person that the greatest compliment you could give me is to tell me you had “never heard of anything like that before”.
I find it hard to believe that this was the first time this had been done but the planning was as fun as the actual events
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So let me tell this from 2 perspectives. From the invitees.. My sister-in-law receives an invitation to a surprise birthday party for her older sister’s husband, John’s 30th birthday party. She is excited about it and even asks Tammy if she needed help with the invitations or the organization of the party itself.
Tammy explains that she had everything under control and so on that cold chilly evening she gathers with around a hundred friends at Hilltop grove. To begin a party of food , libations and comradery to await the arrival of the guest of Honor.
The building was an old one story structure used for many years for a group of people with the Knight of Columbus, where they would have gatherings and multip[le functions of all sorts. It was also used to host “Turkey Shoots” i.e. shooting matches to raise money for the organization. With it being old and drafty and in the middle of February {John Was a valentine’s baby} it did not take long for people to notice that there was a distinct chill in the air and there were a couple contractors working on the overhead heating system in the back corner of the room.
A bit frustrated, Tammy explained to each newcomer that they had just discovered that day that the heater was not working and these two men were trying to fix the problem. Luckily the food was warm and the beer seemed to keep everyone’s mind on the fun of the moment. But you could sense that Tammy was not comfortable with the situation. The crowd consisted of a variety of groups of people. Some were old college buddies, a number of relatives and an assortment of friends in a large volleyball group that the Schroeders had played with often.
Tammy explained that John would be picked up by a couple of his friends and they were telling him that they were taking him out to a poker night with a bunch of guys. Ron and Kevin were classmates of John’s and so everyone was quite excited to spring the big surprise on him… but the only problem was the room was still cool and at this point Tammy was not getting the answers she was hoping for from the HVAC guys. In fact they seemed to look a bit incompetent in that they were not making progress and one very heavy set gentleman kept dropping his tools. Tammy even went to John’s dad and explained her lack of confidence in the guys at which Jim agreed and became involved in the discussion. Now those who know John’s dad have always seen him as a very likable and compassionate fellow. But as he sees Tammy getting more upset, he begins to inquire as to what is taking so long to fix the heater.. And about the same time, one of John’s friends, who happens to be an electrical engineer, has also begun to inquire as to why they cannot figure out what the problem is.
Suddenly the mood changes as Tammy tells everyone that she sees Ron coming up the lane and everyone prepares themselves. Lights go out, everyone gathers towards the door and it becomes very quiet in anticipation. Everyone except the HVAC man who finds it necessary to drop his tools again, causing a murmur from the crowd that is anything but pleasant. A moment later the door swings open. The light comes on and SURPRISE rings out as everyone welcomes the birthday boy. Except, there is a small problem, Ron is standing alone, and John and Kevin are nowhere to be seen. “Where is John” people begin to ask?
How can this be happening? Ron quickly informs everyone that Kevin had a slight accident coming from his house on his way to John’s house. Very minor, but there would now be a delay before they would get there. So we can return to the party at hand.
Everyone begins to socialize again but the issue with the heater has begun to heat up even more now. And everyone is beginning to recognize that the team of technicians are creating a larger problem. They begin to notice that the heavy set gentleman is now beginning to make his way through the food line and actually had the audacity to grab a beer from the cooler. John’s Dad and Jerry are now to a point that Jerry is confidently telling them to get out of the way and let him look at it.. Since no one in the whole group knew either one of these guys and the room was still chilled, and the fact that most of the crowd had consumed a few beers.. Tensions were getting higher and things were beginning to deteriorate. Jerry was known for being a very confident person when he knew he was right and the fact that Mr Schroeder was becoming more upset was definitely making a joyful event a bit uncomfortable for everyone who witnessed the drama unfolding.
But suddenly Tammy alerts everyone that she sees Kevin’s car coming up the drive. Once again everyone takes their places. It’s dark and quiet. As they patiently wait for the pair to enter the building. However this time the contractors are complaining that with the lights out they can’t see what they are doing, at which point several people shush the workers and someone says “How Rude”
With that the door opens and the shout of Surprise rings out and the lights are flipped on.
Unbelievably there in the doorway stands Kevin with a very bewildered look on his face. Everyone has a look of confusion’
“Where is John?”Tammy flustered, Kevin, also confused, said that he went by His house but John was nowhere to be found. So he assumed Ron Had brought him out. Ron again repeats that he had thought Kevin would be bringing him out, , and you can hear someone in the crowd murmur “oh My God, Only Schroeder could screw up His own Surprise birthday party”. By this time Tammy is on her phone talking to her Husband expressing disbelief as she hears that he is still at home waiting for Kevin to pick him up..She explains that Kevin had been by the house but that he was not there. At which point John tells her that must have been when their neighbor had come over to ask him to help him carry a couch out to his truck and they had a fishing conversation. At this point, Tammy is beside herself having no clue what to do, the group of 100 are both laughing and shaking their heads in total bewilderment and Tammy just tells John to Just stay there she was going to send someone to pick him up.( John then asks, wait what are you doing at the card party in the first place?}
As she hangs up her phone the place echoes with laughter. Everyone’s attention is now directed near the food table where they see Jerry, John’s dad and one of the contractors having an intense discussion. Jim is telling the man that this is becoming a fiasco and that they need to let Jerry try to fix this thing and also it is so unprofessiona;l that they have been seen eating some of the food. As the worker retorts his opinion Jerry now steps in front of the contractor and pokes him in the chest and tells him in no uncertain terms where he can go. And with that the guy’s coworker who weighs in excess of 350 lbs comes barreling through the crowd and comes up to Jerry and gets right in his face and begins to shout expletives, of which Jerry will have none of.
With all the might he can muster Jerry pushes the large gentleman back and as he trips he hits his head on the concrete floor and lays silent and motionless as the crowd gasps in horror. Different people begin to suggest what needs to be done as a couple people hold Jerry back. Ron, who was closest to the scene, quickly kneels down next to the gentlemans large and huge Afro covered head and holds it in his hands. As Ron begins to raise the motionless head slowly…he announces to the crowd.; “ OH my God, I think he is turning into a … .ah.. Schroeder”””
With that the Large body begins to sit up and as the man takes off his fluffy wig and removes some make up. John Schroeder turns to the crowd and with a huge smile he simply announces,. “Surprise”…
AS I heard the disbelief and shock of the crowd, and I looked around at the actors. I had to realize that this thing went off perfectly. For weeks, months and even years later. People were still asking questions like “so you were actually filling out our own surprise invitations”? So the heater was never broken? Where in the world did you get this idea? Even my sisters could not believe that as I brushed up against them in the food line they did not ever imagine that it could be me.even though they looked right at me
But with every great prank one must always realize that paybacks are on their way. And they did. Classically. Also I had to now realize that no one would ever be having a surprise party for me again. Who would come?.. A couple’s sisters- in-law were not happy with me. But most saw it as another John Schroeder crazy Idea.
I only needed 7 people to pull it off. Getting a lot of people to a party was always something I could do pretty well. Many years after college and with a little land. I became the guy that would get a couple hundred people together once and sometimes twice a year for a pig roast with a few exciting nuances.
As I began to imagine the evening months before, I knew that two things had to happen. One was, I was going to need the help of a local civic theater costume and makeup professional. I knew that if I were to be walking around my family and my best friends as they were socializing I had to look nothing like myself. So adding a lot of girth, some great makeup and a wig that I wish I still had {Boy do I need the hair now}. I was able to stroll around people like I never could before. I actually got to listen to a few conversations about yours truly that for the most part I could live with. The second important character was my coheart in crime who was the second technician.
This had to be someone who nobody at this party could possibly recognize. If one person in the crowd noticed this guy. The Surprise would implode and months of preparation would become a very embarrassing moment. So Kevin, Player number 2 who lived in Knoxville TN knew a fellow. He had never been to Evansville and knew no one in Evansville, thus he was the man for the job.
Plus he didn”t even have to have HVAC skills he just needed to know when to drop a tool or two.
Ron, Who most everyone knew, was one of my best friends and he was also the person I could trust, who I could share ideas with. He was smart enough to let me know if we could pull this off. So throughout my life, if Ron gives me the thumbs up. I’m going to go for it. { Everyone needs a Ron in their lives.. A very intelligent, very honest, and straightforward friend that knows you well.} . In a 10 minute conversation, Ron can tell you his heartfelt opinion. And history has shown me that when I act on his suggestions, and advice I experience success..
Obviuosly my wife and best friend who had said ” I DO” to all of my crazy Ideas for over 36 years. Took a bit of convincing but once decided she was all in. My Father and mother, when they first heard my idea, looked at me with the eyes.that said. Are you crazy, and is this our son?. But after laying out the plan in detail, they looked at Tammy and asked. “ Are you ok with this? My dad played it like a pro. I wish I had a video. Everyone knew when Mr Schroeder was becoming upset things were reaching a new level of concern. The drama that Tammy and My dad created made this so easy for us to hook our guests very soundly.
And Finally Jerry.
An amazing Electrical Engineer, I met in college that was in my Fraternity. A man who I would love to debate because sometimes we saw things differently but he had the wisdom and confidence to stand his ground on many topics. And the engineer in him made him a fierce competitor when challenged. I needed someone who many people knew was the type of person who would confront a problem and fix it himself especially if it would help Tammy and my dad find peace. Also who may possess a temper that if push comes to shove. He just might push back enough to make people take notice.
Looking back years later, and sharing some of the memories of how I was rewarded by later pranks against me. One being” The great yard sale”, I am grateful for the people who helped pull this off, and the many friends who stayed my friends, even though they may not trust me 100 % when I tell them about a new Idea.
So please feel free if you ever want to get a wonderful gotcha moment. To play a surprise on those who planned to surprise you..to use this party plan.. But just make sure you have the confidence, patience and respect to know if It doesn’t come off just right. You’re gonna have some Splaining to do.
John M Schroeder 1990
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